Kiddie flicks

You know how kids always say the darndest things. Their constantly thinking mind is always asking questions. Questions that you cannot always give a straight answer. Answers that usually starts with "uhhhh well...the thing is..."

Few months back or was it more than more than a year now, who cares, my kid brother, the youngest, paling manja, the apple of everyone's eye was watching an advertisement on the 'telly' (fcuk u, I'm British). Couldn't remember which ad, but it hadsubtitles with the word 'porn star'. Then came the inevitable question. 'Mama, whar is porn star?'. Everyone grow silent. He asked again. Shit, I thought. How do we answer this without destroying this kid's innocent childhood. My mum, with her 'the truth is always the best answer' said, slowly....'It's people having sex'. Hmmm not a totally honest answer there mak. You want me to tell him what a porn star is? Ish ish ish. Then came another inevitable question, "Sex tu ape?". I can see drops of sweat started to fall from my mum's forehead. I was panicking too. No, I'm not gonna stay there hearing my mum start talking about sex. A nightmare for every child. Think fast. I grab the remote and change the channel to Nickoledeon. 'Ah, Spongebob!". Kids....the attention span of a squirrel.

Just the other day, or a few weeks back, I don't remember, who cares. We were watching an episode of The Amazing Race: All Stars. There was this team of two middle aged men. Gay men. Their relationship on the show was written as life partners. "Mama, why are they life partners?"

Before my mum coud start explaining about "You see, in this world a boy will fall in love with a girl, but sometimes a boy can fall in love with another boy....." I just rushed out of the living room. I wonder how that went...

Just the other day, or few days back, i don't remember, who cares. I was watching a DVD. Bukan porn ye. The Jack Black movie, Tenacious D and The Pick of Destiny. Quite hillarious I must say. But not suitable for kids. With 'fuck' being a favourite word in the film and the use of terms such as 'cock push up'. It is when you lie face down on the floor and you try to lift your body using only your, you know what. My brother came into the room. "Cite apa?". "Ah, pegi main game tu". Kids, curious creatures they are. He decided to watch the movie with me. At the scene where Jack Black had to use his erection to push a security button in order to deacvtivate the lasers that was guarding the guitar pick made from the tooth of the Devil himself. The cock push ups sure came in handy. My brother was laughing madly at seeing that scene. After that I specifically told him not to watch this movie again. Later that evening, I found him watching the movie just by himself, laughing like a madman. He missed the first half of the movie he said....Mr. Jack Black, you are a bad influence to kids everywhere (aku x maksudkan ko Amin, ko cuma seiras Jack Black).

Kids...everything is new and exciting to them. I remember how that felt. I wonder if he ever watched porn yet? (Memang nak kena la budak ni kalo dah, advance sangat tu). The conclusion is, you should really watch what your kids are watching nowadays. Because you know, kids are such adorable creatures....until they start watching porn.